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Monday, December 14, 2020

NIV Devotions for Couples- November 14, 2020

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The Big Effect of Little Choices

Judges 16:1–21

Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah.
Judges 16:4

Samson seemed to have all the right stuff. An angel announced his birth and instructed his parents to raise him to live as a lifelong Nazirite, a person set apart by God. As a result of his standing, he was to abstain from grape products, have no contact with dead bodies and forego haircuts (see Numbers 6:1–8). Samson grew up with godly parents who loved him. He was given a life purpose—to begin to deliver Israel from the Philistines—and an incredible strength to help him achieve the task.

But Samson's privileged beginnings didn't automatically endow him with moral integrity. Over the course of his life, he deliberately participated in the things he and his parents had promised not to do. He ate honey from a lion's carcass, violating his Nazirite vow in order to delight himself with something sweet (see Judges 14:8–9). Instead of being a great warrior against the Philistines, Samson's crusades were often spurred by personal vendettas. And he had an insatiable appetite for Philistine women. Ultimately, one of those women, Delilah, learned the secret of Samson's strength and traded that knowledge for a large sum of money.

Maybe you remember learning in church school that Samson was strong because he had long hair. Actually, Samson's strength wasn't in his hair but in his relationship with God. When his head was shaved, it was merely an outward indication of what he had already lost inside.

Ultimately Samson was unable to fully realize his potential or use the gifts God had given him. This is true of many of us. Though God has uniquely gifted us for his purpose, we are unable to live up to our potential because we continually fall victim to our sinful nature.

Samson didn't turn toward sin in one grand decision. A lifetime of little choices resulted in Samson's demise. Similarly, it isn't the politician's final bribe, but rather his early career decisions to bend the rules that lead to his downfall. It isn't the public moral failing of the religious leader, but the many unconfessed sins that preceded it, that brings him down. It's not the addiction, but the little indulgences that fed the addiction, that kills a family.

This principle also applies to our marriages. Most Christians don't wake up one day and decide to throw their marriage and family away with one grand affair. The separation begins with participating in a bit of seemingly innocent flirting at work or sending an innocuous email to an old friend or confiding a bit of unhappiness with one's spouse to a sympathetic friend.

Before making what appears to be a harmless decision, stop and evaluate the cost. Success is less about having the right stuff than it is about choosing the right way. A lot of little choices done God's way will add up to a lifetime of purpose.
Jennifer Schuchmann

Let's Talk

  • Beginning with Samson's birth in Judges 13, examine the decisions that Samson made in his life. Which ones led him to God? Which ones separated him from God?
  • What were the costs Samson paid for his decisions?
  • As a Nazirite, Samson had specific things that set him apart for God. What things set us apart for God? What sets our marriage apart as a Christian marriage?
 
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NIV Devotions for Couples- November 28, 2020

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Loving Those You Love

2 Samuel 9:1–13

"I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan."
2 Samuel 9:7

Many years after his friend Jonathan died, King David reached out to Jonathan's son Mephibosheth. David restored to Mephibosheth the land that had belonged to his grandfather, King Saul, and David welcomed Mephibosheth to his royal table. Why? Because David loved Jonathan and wanted to do something kind to a member of Saul's household "for Jonathan's sake" (2 Samuel 9:1).

Sometimes, I don't want to extend myself on behalf of anyone else, even my husband. But when we entered into marriage, we committed not just to love each other but also to behave lovingly toward the people we each love. This doesn't mean we necessarily have to like everyone our spouse likes. The Bible, after all, doesn't say whether or not David liked Mephibosheth. What it says is that David and Jonathan had a special love for each other (see 1 Samuel 18:1–4; 20:17; 2 Samuel 1:26); and because David loved Jonathan, he extended kindness to Mephibosheth.

One of the most powerful ways my husband loves me is by loving my sister. To be completely honest, my sister and I don't get along that well. We don't have much in common (except our faces, which are almost identical). When we're together, we seem to regress to childhood, circa 1985, when I was nine and she was sixteen. She tells me what to do, and I bristle. We get tetchy. We pick at each other like hens.

I think Griff and Leanne like each other well enough, though I doubt they would have sought each other out and become friends had not marriage made them siblings-in-law. And it doesn't really matter how much they like each other. What matters is that they extend themselves to one another.

On Wednesday nights, when I have church commitments, Griff eats dinner with Leanne and her family. Griff also volunteers to babysit for my nephew. When I am out of town on business, Leanne calls Griff and checks on him. And though Griff and Leanne do have affection for one another, they make these gestures, I think, less out of affection for one another and more out of love for me. Griff understands that eating dinner with Leanne and her family knits Leanne and me together, even though I am not at the dinner table.

When two people marry, they don't become involved with just one other person. Spouses come with a constellation of families and friends. We can ignore those relationships. We can view them as a threat to our relationship with our spouse and fight them. Or we can lovingly insert ourselves into those relationships and help grow them.

We don't have to develop intimate friendships with all of our spouse's relatives and close friends. But, as David understood, we can best honor, love and serve our spouse by making loving overtures to the people they love.
Lauren Winner

Let's Talk

  • Who are the people (besides each other and our children) we love best in the world? How have we extended ourselves in love to people in each other's world?
  • Why is it sometimes difficult to love the other people who came with this marriage? Is there someone one of us finds difficult to love? What would happen if we imagined God showing up in our relationships with difficult people?
  • Is there a cherished friend or relative whom we wished had a better relationship with one of us?
 
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Lauren F Winner

Lauren F. Winner is the bestselling author of three books, including Girl Meets God and Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Discipline . Dr. Winner has appeared on PBS's Religion & Ethics Newsweekly and has served as a commentator on NPR's "All Things Considered." She writes and lectures widely on Christian practice, the history of Christian America, and Jewish-Christian relations. She is Assistant Professor of Christian Spirituality at Duke Divinity School.

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NIV Devotions for Couples- December 12, 2020

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Family Abuse and Rescue

2 Kings 11:1–16

But Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram and sister of Ahaziah, took Joash son of Ahaziah and stole him away from among the royal princes, who were about to be murdered.
2 Kings 11:2

Until a few years ago, I was only marginally aware of this emotionally powerful story about Joash. It is, after all, stuck in the middle of the long section of 1 and 2 Kings that many of us sometimes, um, skim.

At any rate, we read here about King Ahaziah's mother, Athaliah, who had begun killing off the royal family so that she could rule as queen. Jehosheba, Ahaziah's sister, saw what was going on and rescued Ahaziah's young son Joash, hiding him and his nurse at the temple. Joash remained there for six years, finally emerging when it was time for him to be crowned as king.

What first gripped me about this story was Athaliah, a wicked matriarch of fairy-tale proportions. Can't you just see her as the Wicked Witch of the West? Once I tore myself away from that specter, I noticed how complicated her family was. On the one hand, this group of relatives was truly dysfunctional (they were, after all, related to the infamous family of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel). They were so dysfunctional that a grandmother began killing off her own grandchildren—her own descendants!—so she could grab the throne. Athaliah makes my overbearing grandmother look like a wimp.

On the other hand, the family wasn't all bad. Joash's aunt, Jehosheba, intervened to rescue the little boy and hide him till he was old enough to be king. That's a powerful illustration of how families that contain violent and destructive kooks and abusers can also contain courageous and self-sacrificing heroes.

I can relate to the story of Joash because my own aunts played such a huge role in my growing-up years. While never in danger of being killed, I sometimes felt like I didn't fit in with my parents and sister. My aunts stepped into that gap to nurture me, to explain the weird Winner family mysteries to me, and to help me feel like I belonged. Now that I'm an adult, my aunts continue to be my cherished confidants.

My own aunts—not to mention Aunt Jehosheba—remind me what a blessing extended family can be. They help me understand how important it is not to get so focused on our nuclear families that we forget our wider kith and kin. For some of us, extended families may not be biological; they may be in-laws, neighbors, friends or church family.

I certainly hope my own little family is never as destructive and broken as Joash's. But I would be fooling myself to think that my husband and I are perfect parents or that we can do the job of raising our children by ourselves. We need others to help us do that. By looking outside the walls of our own home to our relatives and church family, Griff and I will help ensure that our own bad tendencies are caught, checked and corrected by others who love us and ours.
Lauren Winner

Let's Talk

  • Thinking about each other's families, which people are the dysfunctional or difficult ones? Who are the heroes? How do all of these people influence our marriage?
  • Are we as a couple open to intervention, love, even rebuke from friends or extended family? If we have children how do we encourage relationships between them and other adults in our family whom we love and trust?
  • Have we ever acted as someone else's Jehosheba, stepping in to help the child of a friend or relative? What have we learned from this experience?
 
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Lauren F Winner

Lauren F. Winner is the bestselling author of three books, including Girl Meets God and Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Discipline . Dr. Winner has appeared on PBS's Religion & Ethics Newsweekly and has served as a commentator on NPR's "All Things Considered." She writes and lectures widely on Christian practice, the history of Christian America, and Jewish-Christian relations. She is Assistant Professor of Christian Spirituality at Duke Divinity School.

Want to buy books by Lauren F Winner on Alibris?


Night Light for Couples- December 13, 2020

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Healthy Hope

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for." Hebrews 11:1

Hope based on the realistic expectation that something can or will change is a powerful, positive, driving force. It motivates us to do our best and helps us achieve what may seem impossible to others. But naive hope that's grounded in wishful thinking can be deeply disappointing and even destructive. I (jcd) know a woman—I'll call her Martha—who was hurt repeatedly by her father's lack of interest in her. As long as Martha continued to hope he would change, she suffered a fresh wound whenever he missed an important family event or failed to consider her feelings. I urged Martha to realize that her father was emotionally blind—he was incapable of seeing her needs.

Once she began to accept his "handicap" as permanent, her pain lessened considerably. Your partner's temperament or experiences may prevent him or her from fully comprehending your feelings and frustrations. My advice is that you change what can be altered, explain what can be understood, teach what can be learned, revise what can be improved, resolve what can be settled, and negotiate what is open to compromise.

Then determine to accept the rest. As you overlook these few "unresolvables" in your relationship, you'll develop a perspective that brings realistic hope for an honest and satisfying marriage.

Just between us…

  • What kinds of changes do we hope to see in each other? Are our hopes realistic? '
  • Would it help our relationship to accept our "unresolvables"?
  • What in our marriage gives you the greatest sense of hope?

Father, thank You that You are "the God of all hope." Tonight we look to You for help in bringing honest, healing hope to our marriage. Show us what we can change, show us what we should accept, and bless us with hope. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
    Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.
 
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These devotionals are drawn from Night Light for Couples by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson. For more information or to buy a print copy, see Night Light for Couples.


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Watch "Passion - How Great Is Our God (World Edition) [feat. Chris Tomlin]" on YouTube



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The following website is called Indie Reader and the founder is Amy Edelman . it is an Arts & Humanities Website (the company is called Edelman Books/Media)
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She said two urls that are no longer the urls to use.
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Click this link to search all of the DHS site for mentions of the Blue Campaign


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Released on: 2014-01-01
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Wow. You must be kidding me! This is a way for the blog to really begin to pay commissions!


This email to the blog is dated 6/16/2024 but I did not read the email until today 7/30/2024

Sun, Jun 16, 12:12 PM

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The following request applies to any of the christian ministries that are currently getting visitors from my blog:

I am currently blogging: https://webmaster220.blogspot.com
I would like to place a banner on the right side of my home page that promotes your ministry
If I do that and it helps your ministry grow and expand do you have a suggestion as to what type of commission or contribution could be paid to my ministry. The reason I am saying that is there are a lot of ministries out there that are buying advertising space online and yours could be one of them for all I know. I have been an affiliate marketer for years on my blog but no commissions have ever been earned even though I am doing everything required to be done to earn the commissions. My blog readers are just not interested in spending any money on any of the goods or services discussed in my banner ads and text links. To reply, use the contact form below this paragraph Thanks, Rick Livermore - Webmaster220

Christianbook - Everything Christian for Less

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This video is one of many produced by Kevin Livermore. Check out his Web page on this blog featuring 15 videos stacked in order of popularity.


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