The Storm was a monster. It was nighttime, and we were four hundred miles off the coast of Greenland, facing subzero, gale-force 8 winds, and waves as big as houses. Five of us were attempting to cross the frozen North Atlantic in a small, open rigid inflatable boat, and we were struggling.
It felt as if it was only a matter of time before one of the walls of roaring white water that were repeatedly smashing over us would soon capsize our little boat, and that would surely spell death so far from rescue in those arctic waters.
All five of us were truly terrified. I will never forget that sickening feeling when you know you have truly screwed it up — and you are going to die. Anticipating a horrible death was a genuine reaction to our situation.
We had been sticking to our order of rotation, taking turns at the wheel, desperately trying to outlast the storm and endure the night. But we were exhausted, tight on fuel, and hundreds of miles from any civilization.
I knew that the times when we changed over the helm were always our most vulnerable moments. It was those dangerous few minutes as the new helmsman started a fresh battle to feel the rhythm of these huge waves in the pitch dark. One slow reaction and we would be over.
Twice we came so close to capsizing at this critical handover point, and instinct told me we might not get so lucky a third time. I made the decision to carry on and helm the boat myself, in a desperate attempt to see the storm through. It was hard to explain, but I just knew that this voice was telling me to keep steering.
Fear can totally break people, but it doesn't have to be the final answer. Courage steels people, but we have to find it from somewhere.
- Courage isn't the absence of fear. On the contrary, without fear we cannot truly be courageous. To be brave, we must first be afraid.
I remember so vividly asking Jesus to be beside me in that storm, to steel me, to sustain, strengthen, and deliver me. And He was there, so much so that one of our crew, Nigel Thompson, who had never known faith in his life before, swore that he saw an angel calmly sitting on the front of our small boat throughout that storm.
Still the winds and waves roared — if anything, they got worse. It was one of the longest, most high-risk nights of my life, but never once did I feel alone.
- Christ promises never to abandon us.
And as dawn broke and the storm subsided, we finally saw the coast of Iceland in the distance. We had been steeled and delivered.
In the moments when we need it most, if we ask, God will supply us with the courage we need. Fear and anxiety might shout louder. But isn't it just like God to answer in the still, small voice of calm? When we ask, Christ will always be beside us, with His angels if necessary. I don't know all the ins and outs of theology, but I know the presence and the courage that God has provided in the tightest of moments.
And that is enough for me.
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