Do you see me now? 👀

happy Father's Day from FaithGateway!

Father's Day: Do You See Me Now? Today's inspiration comes from: Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much by Charlie Peacock & Andi Ashworth I suspect that most of us recognize our father's full humanity too late in the game. They're no longer alive, or their memories and mental acuity are failing. Naming grievances, or what I think was wrong with my dad is too easy. Seeing him as fully human? Very difficult. I missed that chance while he was alive.   I wish I could've known him without all the biases I accumulated along the way. I constructed truncated identities for Dad without ever knowing I was doing it. Then, for the whole of life, I kept him bound to the caricatures I'd created. This doesn't mean that I didn't learn anything of depth about him, or occasionally see him in some new and positive light. Because I did. And I also have the memories of how open-hearted, generous and funny both my parents could be. They were stellar grandparents too.   And then, without any warning, Dad was dead, all too young at fifty-nine. Thankfully, my mother lived into her eighties.   When your parents are gone, you can't compare notes anymore, empathize with each other, unravel mysteries, put words to the unspoken thoughts and feelings, show complete transparency, or forgive and be forgiven. You can't champion each other. You can't ask them about their freshman year of high school, whether it embarrassed them that their teeth were so crooked, or why they quit drawing when they were obviously so good at it. The opportunity for such things has passed.   So, in the most basic sense, there is a son I wish I'd been — one more faithful, respectful, attentive, kind, and loving. In another, more abstract sense, there is a son I wish I'd been which was impossible for me to be while they were alive. I was incapable of the necessary insight, curiosity, and empathy to be that son.   Today, as a sixty-seven-year-old man, I'm ready to be the son who asks his parents about everything, who ferrets out every story. I'm prepared to do this and feel no pressing need to illuminate for them what I've thought, felt, believed, valued, and accomplished. My need to honestly know them is far greater than my need to be seen and understood. Maybe this is how you find out you've finally grown up. It's unfortunate when the parents are no longer alive to receive such maturity and benevolence.   In the years since my mother passed, I've had the opportunity to process the last vestiges of my parent's lives.   The more I understand my parents as people, as I would a friend or neighbor, the more empathetic and forgiving I become toward them.   I can see the known or probable source for just about anything I didn't like about them or respect them for. I can see the connections between the pain they endured and the pain they caused. Happy Fathers' Day! Happy Fathers' Day! Several years after my musician father had died, my mother told me, "You know, your dad never had any encouragement from his father regarding music, and so he had no example of how to be with you."   There was a forty-year period when I really could've used this information. That one sentence both wrecked me and made sense of so much of my relationship with Dad. It helped me to see him as a boy who wanted his father to take notice of him, to see what a good musician he was becoming. Dad became the best in high school. He had the encouragement of a teacher, who was a band director, arranger, and former Army musician. Dad, 18 years old and fresh from high school graduation, joined the Air Force to play in the jazz/dance band. Four years later his service ended. Only days before my birth, he came home, formed a band, and got to work playing clubs and dances while earning his higher education teaching credentials.   Now he had a steady salary as a music director plus the extra money coming in from gigs every weekend. Confidently, he went right out and bought a brand new 1963 Chevrolet Impala. The first thing he did with that car was to load the family up and drive directly to his parents' house. At that moment, showing off a shiny new car his father couldn't afford, Dad was asking without using words:   "Do you see me now?"   In contrast to the circumstances I was born to, which were modest, my parents came from far less. It's why they valued so much of what I took for granted, and ultimately dismissed as the unnecessary trappings of suburban life. I failed to appreciate how much they'd achieved. It was their labor and grit that allowed me the space to have improbable dreams.   Dad knew how much work it took just to get where he got. Where I wanted to go was beyond his ability to see or imagine.   Repeatedly, chronically, I proved to Dad that he was wrong about me. I showed him that my vision of a successful musical life could be accomplished. Then I brought my version of the "Chevrolet Impala" to his doorstep, over and over, year after year. "Do you see me now Dad, see me for who I am? Not someone with a music job but an artist living an artistic life?" How foolish of me. How could he not see me? I was the most successful music student of his career.   No habit has been harder to kick than proving my identity and worth — even decades after Dad's death the impulse remains. It took so long to wind it up, it's taking equally long to unwind.   By grace, I've been given time and the means to kick the habit of assumptions, expectations, and pushing beyond healthy boundaries. It has been my trials and failures (not the successes) that have helped me let go of the son I was, making it possible for me to become the son I wish I'd been, and finally, the son I actually am. One who loves his parents, though always imperfectly. One who respects and gives props to his father, his teacher. One who repents incompletely. And yet, one who receives grace upon grace.   As that graceful son, I release my father and mother once-for-all to be fully human, two of God's image-bearers, historical figures with complicated stories, flawed and beautiful, forgiven and admired. I pass no further judgment. Rest in peace until we meet again in the shalom of all that is good, in the cathedral of God's hands. Excerpted from Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much, by Charlie Peacock, copyright Charlie Peacock.   * Ready to Dig Deeper? SHOP THIS BOOK ► Your Turn Happy Father's Day to all of our dads! No parent except the Lord will ever be perfect. We have made mistakes, bad decisions, acted in anger, and fallen short of our desires in parenting. Let knowing that God is continuing to grow and shape us and help us be wonderful, life-giving, empowering parent encourage you today. Dads, we're thankful for you! ~ Devotionals Daily COMMENT From multi–Grammy winner Charlie Peacock and his wife and author, Andi Ashworth Save 35% Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt $12.99 35% off + FREE shipping on all orders over $35 SHOP NOW A hopeful and practical model for what it means to be a Christian and a culture-maker in a world of hurt and wondrous possibility, from multi–Grammy winner Charlie Peacock and his wife and author, Andi Ashworth.   Do you feel powerless and overwhelmed by the pain and suffering all around you? Have you ever asked, What can I do to mend the world, my family, or my own life? And if I could, why bother? Does my own small part even matter? If so, here comes hope from two guides who are further down the road. Charlie and Andi have written a collection of letters to Christians and spiritual seekers who think deeply and care acutely about the state of the world and their personal spheres of influence. LEARN MORE ► Today's devotion is by: Charlie Peacock Take a look inside In Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much, beloved and trusted mentors, Charlie and Andi offer you: Thought-provoking explorations into the many facets of Christian culture care and making, from the kitchen to Carnegie Hall. Practical guidance for how to care for and improve the quality of human life, locally and globally, no matter your vocation. A theology of imagination and creativity that provides a framework for all of life. A model for expressing love in marriage, friendship, citizenship, and every kind of work—even in the midst of cynicism, fear, exhaustion, and oppression. It might be said of Christians that our lives are either moving in the direction of the redemption Jesus has on offer, or away from it. Each of these letters is a gentle nudge in the direction of God's powerfully ordinary purpose for each of us, no matter what the future holds, to participate fully in the beautiful, redemptive work of Christ. SHOP NOW More gifts for dad Pocket Prayers for Dads BY: MAX LUCADO Pocket Prayers for Dads invites you on a journey into the heart of biblical prayer and unpacks the power in even the simplest prayers. These guided prayers to help you find not only peace and rest but also the direction and strength you need for today. $5.99 40% off SHOP NOW Midnight Dad Devotional BY: BECKY THOMPSON & DR. MARK PITTS Every stage of being a dad comes with its own set of challenges. But one challenge encompasses them all--how do I become the best dad I can be? In Midnight Dad Devotional, author Becky Thompson joins her dad, Dr. Mark Pitts, to lead you on a journey of discovering the Father's heart so you can be encouraged, strengthened, and challenged in your role as a dad. $10.19 40% off SHOP NOW Midnight Dad Devotional BY: BECKY THOMPSON & DR. MARK PITTS The NIV Men's Devotional Bible offers encouragement from contemporary and classic communicators and authors including Lee Strobel, Chuck Colson, and Rick Warren. Together, they will help you on your walk with God by presenting weekday and weekend devotions that are engaging, practical, and useful for your life today. $35.99 40% off SHOP NOW Take advantage of our summer sale and enjoy incredible savings on all devotionals. Elevate your quiet time with Jesus with these limited-time offers, designed to help you deepen your faith and grow spiritually. Don't miss out on these amazing deals now through June 30th — Pick up your copies today!  SHOP NOW SHARE this devotion with someone who needs it today SHARE

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