A Prayer for God's Presence When You Feel Helpless
By: Emily Rose Massey "I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth" (Psalm 121:1-2, NKJV). We started receiving our hospital bills from our youngest son's birth and on the breakdown of his five-hour NICU stay, "resuscitation" was listed. Of course, seeing that word in black and white really hit me. Clearly, the Lord needed him here. Perhaps his life will have great purpose on earth. But his first three months of life were so incredibly difficult that it was hard to see beyond the moment. Colic was absolute torture on his tiny body and if I'm being honest, absolute torture on the whole family. When he was about eight weeks old, I tried to leave the house for about an hour to get a break. My husband got off work and said he would watch the boys for me. I barely made it onto the highway when I got a text from my husband that I needed to come back home. Our son was inconsolable, and he was refusing a bottle. I walked in the door and grabbed my son and gave my husband a scowling look of disappointment. In that moment, I was reminded that we are selfish creatures and when something is difficult or an inconvenience to our personal comfort, our flesh cannot take it. We want to lash out in anger. We want to cry, scream, or run away to escape it. Listening to a baby scream uncontrollably for hours on end is one of those things that will test you as a Christian on every side. That night, after three hours straight of trying to comfort my boy, I held Jude in the recliner as he screamed inconsolably and writhed in pain with my earbuds blasting worship music. I began to helplessly weep which turned into a panic attack. I prayed, "Lord, I know I don't deserve Your mercy, but please help." Suddenly, peace came, even if for a moment. Have you ever been in a situation where you have felt completely helpless? The situation may make us feel helpless, but the truth is that we have not been left alone without help. Sometimes our circumstances don't change, but God reminds us that He is with us in it. That difficult night with my son and every difficult moment as a parent, even though I feel so incredibly helpless, I will continue to lift my eyes where I know my help comes from. "I will lift up my eyes to the hills - From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth" (Psalm 121:1-2, NKJV). 
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