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Sunday, June 20, 2021

A "Happy" Father's Day?

A "Happy" Father's Day?


Dear Friends,
 
I was reluctant to write my Sunday email with a Father's Day theme. I don't have that heart-warming testimony to share, nor would I consider myself "father of the year." I really didn't know what I could contribute.
 
Father's Day is bittersweet for me. Let's face it, we have not all had a "Hallmark" relationship with our father. This week, I watched an interview with a popular Christian leader who spoke about how wonderful his father was, and how much he looked up to him. I found myself wishing I had had a similar experience. I imagine many viewers were encouraged by the speaker's testimony, but also found it difficult to relate.
 
I have actually had three fathers. The first, Robert, died when I was seven months old. He was driving his sports car a bit too fast and spun out on a slippery road in Maine. We had never met, nor have I ever had any contact with his family. In fact, I didn't even know until a few years ago that this man was my biological father.
 
My second father was a man named Tom. My brother and I greatly admired him. He taught us to fish, shoot, and camp. He lived a carefree life. The problem was that while he was carefree, he also made poor decisions and often drove drunk with us in the car. Though he died of alcoholism, I do praise God that we were able to reconcile before he died, and his sister told me she had led him to Christ!
 
My third father raised me from the time I was nine. His name was Bob. While he provided for the family, he lacked an important trait. He didn't really like children. He was abandoned by his own mother and had a very difficult childhood. When I was a teenager, he gave his life to Jesus and was a very dedicated follower of Christ. However, he never really knew how to relate to me or my brother, and we don't have any happy father/son memories. He also passed away a few years ago after suffering a heart attack.
 
I am sure many of you could add your stories to mine. And I am sure there are many tragic stories of fathers abandoning, mistreating, or simply not being there for their children. I remember one of my friends who was adopted telling me that he went to locate his birth father after he turned 18. He was nervous and excited to meet the man who shared his DNA. The only problem was, when he met him and told him who he was, his biological father said, "Why are you here? I gave you up 18 years ago. Why do you think I would want you now?" Then his father asked him to leave.
 
This Sunday, you may hear a great sermon about a godly father. You may watch a film or a TV show with a perfect Hollywood ending of a father and son (or daughter) embracing. I hope you can truly relate, but I suspect many of you cannot. Perhaps you have even been the "not so godly" father in your own child's life.
 
However, there is good news! Our Heavenly Father will never leave us or forsake us. He gives us comfort, forgiveness, reconciliation, and even places others in our life who serve as our spiritual fathers!

Our Heavenly Father will never leave us or forsake us. He gives us comfort, forgiveness, reconciliation, and even places others in our life who serve as our spiritual fathers!

While I have not had happy father relationships, I have had several great men in my life who have "fathered" me both practically and spiritually. Now that I am older, I have also tried to be a spiritual father to others.  

It took me a long time to deal with the hurt in my life concerning my three fathers. I would be lying if I said it didn't still cause me pain. I have tried to break the cycle and be a great father to my children, but I am sure they could share some hurt as well. I am sure they would say, at the very least, "Dad spends too much time working." And they would be right.
 
The past cannot be changed. While I have forgiven my earthly fathers and asked my children to forgive me of my shortcomings, I can rejoice that God has brought great spiritual fathers into my life. I can also seek to be a positive spiritual influence in the lives of my adult children and others God has brought into my life. I can rejoice also in being a grandfather to my two beautiful granddaughters! 
 
When we give our hurts to God and seek Him faithfully, we see the tides turn. Relationships can be healed, and hearts mended. And through the pain, we can cry out to God, "Abba! Father!"

When we give our hurts to God and seek Him faithfully, we see the tides turn. 

And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" —Galatians 4:6 [ESV]
 
Think also of the first two words of the prayer Jesus gave to His disciples, "Our Father." It is no coincidence that God has taken the role of "Our Father." It is only through that role that we can have the intimate and obedient relationship God desires for us.
 
When Jesus was about to face torture and crucifixion—sweating drops of blood in agony—He cried out to God, praying, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36) This is such a beautiful example of the relationship of a Father and a Son, and a picture of total trust and obedience.
 
I fear that, for many people, the pain of the past serves as a roadblock to the future and the healing God desires to bring. It can be difficult to truly forgive a parent who has failed us, or who may have emotionally or physically abused us. But, hanging on to the pain only hinders our relationship with our Eternal Father. To move forward, we must forgive as Christ has forgiven us, and rejoice in the spiritual parents God brings into our lives, knowing that "Our Father" loves us beyond what any of us can even imagine.

To move forward, we must forgive as Christ has forgiven us, and rejoice in the spiritual parents God brings into our lives, knowing that "Our Father" loves us beyond what any of us can even imgine.

I hope this Sunday brings you a happy Father's Day, and that your relationship with your father is (and was) filled with wonderful memories. However, if you are like me and don't have those memories, I do wish you an "Abba, Father's Day," (which we can have every day!) and I can guarantee you much more than "happy"— I can guarantee you unspeakable joy and glory yet to come!
 
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. —1 John 3:1a

Have a blessed Sunday.

Steve Cleary
CEO/Founder
RevelationMedia
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