when do i walk away?

Jesus walked away from toxic people. ~ Gary Thomas When to Walk Away: Follow Jesus' Example by Gary L. Thomas, from session one of When to Walk Away     Welcome to Bible Study of the Week, where every Sunday we give you the free first sessions of video Bible studies from leading authors, pastors, and Bible teachers. In When to Walk Away, bestselling author Gary Thomas draws on Jesus' example to show us a hard truth — that sometimes the best course of action for us to take with some relationships is to walk away... or let the other person walk away.   *   Jesus walked away from toxic people and let them walk away from Him. We can learn to follow His example.   INTRODUCTION   For the first fifteen years of their marriage they served the church in two dramatically different ways. Both David and Ginny had gifts for ministry, loved people, and felt honored to serve the same congregation. David was the pastor and Ginny led the music ministry and adult education. Their mission was the same, but they responded to toxic people in totally different ways.   When they started at their first church, a woman came at Ginny like a heat-seeking missile. She was clearly needy and explained to Ginny that she wanted an accountability partner, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, and someone to call (at any time, day or night) when she was in need. This woman was certain that the Lord wanted Ginny to be that person. So, Ginny made the commitment and jumped into a relationship that lasted fifteen long and painful years.   This woman demanded everything and gave nothing back. She would call at all hours and expect Ginny to drop everything, even the care of her children, to listen, pray, and help her manage whatever issue she was facing. When Ginny would try to establish barriers, the woman would declare that Ginny was not loving, not caring, and maybe not even a Christian. She would share this with anyone who would listen.   Over time, this woman began declaring to anyone who would listen that no one at the church cared about her or did anything to help her. She even wrote a letter to the church board saying that Ginny was an unkind person and should not be serving at the church until she learned how to "be more like Jesus." Finally, this angry woman left the church. She told people, "I am going to find a church where the members actually care and where the pastor's wife is not a hypocrite!"   During this same decade and a half, David also encountered a handful of toxic people in their church. He was kind to them but always seemed able to keep them at arm's length. They would make demands of him and he would smile and let them know that it was not his job to be their personal counselor, to meet all of their needs, to be their best friend, or to come to every event they felt he should attend. Some of them got angry and pushed back, but other members of the church would assure David, "That guy has always been like that and everyone knows it!" They would assure him that keeping a safe distance from "that guy" was a wise decision that most of the church members would understand.   Instead of being controlled by a few super-needy, angry, and highly demanding people, David invested that time in two or three leaders each year. He would identify those who were mature leaders that needed some coaching and encouragement and he would pour into them. David also had a gift for finding younger and upcoming leaders and helping them sharpen their gifts, grow in prayer, and learn to serve Jesus in the church and the marketplace.   When David and Ginny accepted a call to move to a new church, they took time to evaluate their ministry. David was thankful that he had the honor of preaching and leading the congregation, but he told Ginny that one of his greatest joys was seeing several leaders take serious steps forward in their love for God, service in the church, and their passion for living out faith in their home and in the workplace. Ginny told David that she celebrated the growth in the music ministry and the adult classes. But, sadly, she had not really invested in developing many leaders. She said, "Most of my time for the last fifteen years has been invested in one woman, and I wonder if I made any lasting impact on her life."   Christians have the tendency of thinking that walking away from anyone or letting anyone walk away from them is a failure on their part.   TALK ABOUT IT   What attitudes and behaviors release a person like David to be fruitful and impactful in ministry and life? —or—    What attitudes and behaviors keep a person like Ginny from a full life and ministry? WATCH SESSION ONE: WATCH Your Turn   Come get the remaining session one study questions, watch the video, and share your thoughts on this study on our blog. We want to hear from you!       WEEKEND DEAL     Jesus walked away from toxic people, and you should too.     Save 45% off the book and pick up the study, too     When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People by Gary Thomas   Hardcover   List Price: $24.99 Sale Price: $13.74   Learn More Your life's calling is too important to let toxic people take it away. When to Walk Away draws from biblical and modern stories to equip you to handle toxic people in your life and live true to your God-given purpose.    As Christians, we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Whether a sibling, parent, spouse, coworker, or friend, toxic people frequently seek to frustrate our life's calling. While you're seeking first God's kingdom, they're seeking first to distract your focus and delay your work.    Instead of attempting the impossible task of mollifying toxic people, it's time we dedicate our energy to the only worthwhile effort: completing the work God has given us by investing in reliable people. It's only when we learn to say no to bad patterns that we can say yes to the good work God has planned for us.    Drawing from years serving as a pastor, Gary Thomas (bestselling author of Sacred Marriage) looks at biblical examples from the lives of Jesus, Paul, and Nehemiah to give you insightful, biblical takeaways that you can apply right away. You'll discover how to: Learn the difference between difficult people and toxic people Find refuge in God when you feel under attack Discern when to walk away from a toxic situation Keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships Grow your inner strength and invest in reliable people We can't let others steal our joy or our mission. It's time to strengthen our defense, learn to set healthy boundaries, and focus on our God-given purpose. It's time to know When to Walk Away.   In the When to Walk Away six-session video Bible study, bestselling author Gary Thomas draws on Jesus' example to show how the best course of action for us to take with some relationships is to walk away... or let the other person walk away.   The When to Walk Away Study Guide includes teaching notes, discussion questions, Bible exploration, and personal study and reflection materials for in-between sessions. Shop the entire study collection   Save 45% off When to Walk Away study materials + get free shipping on your order of $35 or more       Shop the full study collection in the store SHOP NOW   *Sale price ends on 8/31/21 and excludes eBooks and audiobooks.   FREE shipping on U.S. orders of $35 or more, excluding Alaska and Hawaii.   *eBooks purchases are fulfilled by our partner, Glose. Please note that: To access your eBooks, you can download the free Glose app or read instantly in your browser by creating a Glose account using the same email address you use to purchase the eBooks. eBooks fulfilled through Glose cannot be printed, downloaded as PDF, or read in other digital readers (like Kindle or Nook). For more information about how to access eBooks purchased on this site, click here for our FAQs. You are subscribed to FaithGateway Bible Study  FaithGateway ~ our mission is to help you grow and share your faith. Copyright © 2021 HarperCollins Christian Publishing. 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